Lash (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thewunderkind) wrote2010-12-29 06:36 am
thewunderkind) wrote2010-12-29 06:36 am
In which this post took over 6 hours to do and find presents for eveyrone.
[Lash has been working pretty hard the last two weeks catching up on lost time and working on her christmas presents. With her pay suspended while she was gone, her budget is much lower than last year's. She still has enough to pay her closer friends awesome stuff, but apart from that it's all inventing, junk recycling, dollar store visiting, metal wielding and whatnot. But hey, at least she's pretty good in the building part.
You will find one (1) collapsed Lash on Christms Eve in the common room. Looking completely exhausted and tired from her entire ordeal.
LAST YEAR SHE IS DOING THIS THIS LATE. Or maybe she should stop being so ambitious and typically Lash-like and...nah not gonna happen.
She has given presents to...Hawke, Maxwell, Claus, Guass, Pit, Raiden, Zapdos, Max, Jake, Kumatora, Flurrie, Kirby, Jeff, Lucas, Max, Jake, Canas, Robotnik, Duster, Rachel, Orbot, Metal, Zelda, Meta Knight, Green, Poo, Tony, Bowser, Kamek, Uxie, Vinnie, Max, Shinon, Daisy, Falkner, Otacon, Wave, Ness, Andy, Paula, Knuckles, Naboory, Kyle, ROB, Sable, Falcon, Brock, Goose, Surge, Char, Nyx, Giovanni, Leon, Ulki, Bulba, Slippy, Snake, Volgin, Nyx, Naval, Shyguy General, Blacky, Ghor, Deathbot I mean Samus and secret Santa Archie ]
Hawke: Like every year you also get a coffe cup, but instead of a picture of the lady at the bottom, it is the black hole logo. Subtle.
She also worked hard making something that looked like it fit in your overly clean room and also brewed the all important nectar of the caffeine gods. Your own, Lash approved coffee machine. To go with your normal, boring one. Also this black coat.
That said, she again put a lot of her money towards your present behind Orange Nation's back and got you something which felt looked classy and refined and while it cannot shoot normally anymore, she cleaned out the main barrels and installed a laser gun in there. You do not have to crank to shoot but...come on. You know you want to.
Maxwell: You get one of all 118 elements, from Helium to Lawrencium. They glow different colors depending on their group. This very chic milk holder for your teas. Wow, this is pretty gay.
Unlike last year, she does not have a very pretty snowglobe. She had actually been working on a miniature tessie, but now that he has a giant robot that almost looks like it, she kinda feels it's not really worth finishing and underwhelmed. The paint seems to be pretty fresh, so he still gets it in the end. It is powered by a g-diffuser which means YES IT FLIES. It also fires lasers, measures the tea temperature, sings a song. Did I mention it fires lasers? It fires lasers. It moves like it is swimming in the water. And because Lash has no idea what Tessie really looks like under water (those dolls I mena stuffed toys all seem to differ in your collection) she just went with copying a Lapras look.
Gauss: More catnip than you could ever dream of.
Claus: Bombs. Lasers. DVDs of this series. A note that they should go bombing more things more often.
Pit: This pendant,No seriously shut up, that's not gay. Sword polish (she has no idea but it was pretty cheap). A wing healing kit (gosh you find everything in this FDC stores).
Raiden: This alarm clock to fill your still dreadfully empty room. You also get a letter of what has happened recently (she hopes it reaches you) that also has a code once raiden brings it close to a flame. There is a small monocle, that, when worn will decode the letters she left on it and give you the true message. It talks about Blacky's statue, how she is recently and urges him to stop being a dumbass and figure out what he wants for his future (pot, meet kettle). Once you get back, however you will have a surprise! More cleaning robots, these are rombas equipped with the neotank walking technology allowing them to climb everywhere and with much more agility than the hovering hoovers do. And these won't explode in the toilets! Mostly! Promise!
Zapdos: A few of these, made with jello.
Canas: Books to help you with your...AHEM problem.
Max: She made you more clothing this year from last year's non ripping material! Plus she also got you SHIRTS IN A CAN!
Jake: A watch which she put lasers on. After getting the photograph, however, she went in with Hachi's permission and got two of the final reports their mother carried out. They are boring detailless things but. It is still from their mother, right? (She already had the papers but since she wasn't supposed to get them...she was happy when Hachi said yes)
Kumatora: A fucking flamethrower. This fucking statue which she grabbed used so it's got a few cracks on it woops, but it was much, much cheaper than new.
Flurrie: You get an entire collection of broadway DVDs. Sadly, bootleg. However, Kirby and Lash have put aside some money and...they got 4 tickets to see a for-real musical opera. Except they messed up and it's tickets to musical Oprah.
Kirby: A mountain of cookies! Totally not taken from buying boxes and putting them together, no that would be silly. Cotton Candy. A photograph of him, her, Flurrie and Robotnik together.
Robotnik: More plans! Now your mustache can look its best. A picture of her, Kirby, you and Flurrie. But shh that one is a secret. A book of Evil Overlord Tips which includes such classics as these few pages.
Jeff: What to get to a guy who already has a bazillion things? Maybe a book. Some tea. Ice cubes. And a spinning bowtie.
Lucas: Dollar store strikes again.
Duster: Cheese. Old. And smelly. She found it in Nancy's fridges.
Rachel: A homemade necklaces. Yes it...shoots a laser. Sorry.
Orbot: Car polish.
Metal: Car polish for his metal exterior. There isn't much she can get him anyway :|
Zelda: Oka so you're Maxwell's roommate person. I guess you can get some tea too.
Meta Knight: And you three.
Green: And you four. Also a woopie cushion! Use it as you like. Lip candy. Because of what you tried to do to her haha. Ps, she still uis updating your website and your fans are still crazy.
Poo: Wait you are back so um...have these packets of food she found in the dollar store theylooked unreadable sounded exotic.
Tony: Car wax. She also stole one of your hats and installed a bowl on it. The bowl can be removed from the hat to wash it and in case of an emergency. It also protects against head shocks and fires!
Bowser: Modified mechanical koopas that shoot out lasers from their eyes. Very badly done Mario cookies she got Nancy to bake with a note to "enjoy joyfully munching your Nemesis's head" (Nancy was not told who the cookies were for).
Kamek: She got you the most BADASS ROBES ever. Look at the entire outfit, doesn't it command fear and respect? HELL YEAH IT DOES.
Uxie: There. Enjoy. Also these. Tsun tsun.
Vinnie: This Venusaur statue because it's so adorable and it makes noise. (No that is not a frog okay)
Mac: These very FLAMING BOXING GLOVES aww yeah. She also installed another gadget on your bike. Yes.
Shinon: Yay dollar store stuff.
Slippy: First of all, a note thanking him for his help in doing the classes, some bombs from the classes, some wax for his tank, and she also found a toolchest being unused in the leftover stuff in the junkyard, polished it and added some headlights and lasers.
Daisy: Sports equipment, brass addons for your shoes and a gift certificate for the birdcage.
Falkner (for helping her raise Skaromory): A book of EXTREME birds. Softcover edition, it was 75% cheaper.
Otacon: A dollar storedoll action figure which she modified it with some hooks and shooting action.
Wave: A bunch of material she got from all of her jobs, there's some spare parts and spare parts and also spare parts. And this really nice measuring cup for any explosive liquids you might be measuring.
Ness: This phone.
Andy: Digimon cards (Her doubles). A nice wrench (which she didn't steal...from him anyway). A jar of peanut butter. A map with all the continents listed. YEAH ANDY.
Paula: Bows for her hair. Made from bows she found in the dollar store and gluing them to pins.
Knuckles: A basket of fruit (it's a tradition). But this time you get...this little gadget. Also metal addons for his shoes.
Nabooru: A flower headband that has a laser on it.
Kyle: A congrats on getting hitched card.
ROB: Metal polish. A vhs copy of this movie.
Sable: A needle kit.
Peach: A cake mold.
Falcon: Letters for Ionia. IF YOU WERE TO SNOOP IN THEM you would find actually words of encouragement and what seems to be the beginnings of a nerd idea exchange and Lash seems. Really excited for her and uncharacteristicly nice and polite. As thanks, she got you some drinks. And remember that gun she made you two years ago? She made the other one. BUT ONLY BECAUSE SHE NEEDS YOU FOR IONIA'S CONTACT INFO OKAY.tsun tsun.
Brock: These delightful cubes! She thinks it is hilarious.Also a kick in the face once she sees the sticker.
Goose: Something like this, but with an obvious tall reaching hairdo...
Surge: A lightning bold keychain! It has a glow in the dark feather, thunder sound, and a tiny volt usage (hold it on the other side not to get volted yourself) to play a trick on someone else. (LIKE GOOSE)
Bulba: One dolar store trip later, she has a metal flower pot which she carved a very crude Ivysaur on it (it looks like she started a bulbasaur, realized her mistake halfway and then tried to fix it)
Char: A water squirting gun. Guess who it's made to be used on.
Giovanni: A few pocket rockets.
Leon: A small taser gun which she made herself.
Ulki: A claw sharpener.
Rhys: Pills.
Snake: Stacks of boxes she found at the dump. A headband Sami wanted to pass along.
Volgin: She has almost finished your vehicle but it was sidetracked when she left. Pray that she doesn't find out what really happened or your intentions in killing Pokemon or else she'll take it back. Meanwhile you get the prototype model, she doesn't need it anymore. Consider it a proof-of-concept.
Nyx: Clap off and off lights. (Which she hacked herself.) This movie which she found in vhs form for 1$ and marked on it "it is terrible, please watch it with Char"
Naval: These earrings which she made from dollar store jewelery and shaped to almost look like a carnivorous plant.
Shyguy General: She modified one of your hats to shoot a laser. Also some tank polish!
Blacky: The new 2011 Adder underwear collection. Yeah she got it for free, but gotta share the wealth right? Besides, they'll probably fit her better than her.
Ghor: You get..some sort of laser thing. Lash made it it. Despite being an ass you are still a robot and robots are awesome.
DEATHBOT: She has been using the laser you gave her so much, you actually get good presents this year. But you still get a chocolate egg that contains other tiny eggs. Otherwise, you get bike polish aaaand...she modified a red helmet she found and made this one for you to use while riding and feel like being safe. It probably shoots lasers on the side. Plz enjoy.
Archie: Who the hell are you, you get...a hot cacao sampler.
You will find one (1) collapsed Lash on Christms Eve in the common room. Looking completely exhausted and tired from her entire ordeal.
LAST YEAR SHE IS DOING THIS THIS LATE. Or maybe she should stop being so ambitious and typically Lash-like and...nah not gonna happen.
She has given presents to...Hawke, Maxwell, Claus, Guass, Pit, Raiden, Zapdos, Max, Jake, Kumatora, Flurrie, Kirby, Jeff, Lucas, Max, Jake, Canas, Robotnik, Duster, Rachel, Orbot, Metal, Zelda, Meta Knight, Green, Poo, Tony, Bowser, Kamek, Uxie, Vinnie, Max, Shinon, Daisy, Falkner, Otacon, Wave, Ness, Andy, Paula, Knuckles, Naboory, Kyle, ROB, Sable, Falcon, Brock, Goose, Surge, Char, Nyx, Giovanni, Leon, Ulki, Bulba, Slippy, Snake, Volgin, Nyx, Naval, Shyguy General, Blacky, Ghor, Deathbot I mean Samus and secret Santa Archie ]
Hawke: Like every year you also get a coffe cup, but instead of a picture of the lady at the bottom, it is the black hole logo. Subtle.
She also worked hard making something that looked like it fit in your overly clean room and also brewed the all important nectar of the caffeine gods. Your own, Lash approved coffee machine. To go with your normal, boring one. Also this black coat.
That said, she again put a lot of her money towards your present behind Orange Nation's back and got you something which felt looked classy and refined and while it cannot shoot normally anymore, she cleaned out the main barrels and installed a laser gun in there. You do not have to crank to shoot but...come on. You know you want to.
Maxwell: You get one of all 118 elements, from Helium to Lawrencium. They glow different colors depending on their group. This very chic milk holder for your teas. Wow, this is pretty gay.
Unlike last year, she does not have a very pretty snowglobe. She had actually been working on a miniature tessie, but now that he has a giant robot that almost looks like it, she kinda feels it's not really worth finishing and underwhelmed. The paint seems to be pretty fresh, so he still gets it in the end. It is powered by a g-diffuser which means YES IT FLIES. It also fires lasers, measures the tea temperature, sings a song. Did I mention it fires lasers? It fires lasers. It moves like it is swimming in the water. And because Lash has no idea what Tessie really looks like under water (those dolls I mena stuffed toys all seem to differ in your collection) she just went with copying a Lapras look.
Gauss: More catnip than you could ever dream of.
Claus: Bombs. Lasers. DVDs of this series. A note that they should go bombing more things more often.
Pit: This pendant,
Raiden: This alarm clock to fill your still dreadfully empty room. You also get a letter of what has happened recently (she hopes it reaches you) that also has a code once raiden brings it close to a flame. There is a small monocle, that, when worn will decode the letters she left on it and give you the true message. It talks about Blacky's statue, how she is recently and urges him to stop being a dumbass and figure out what he wants for his future (pot, meet kettle). Once you get back, however you will have a surprise! More cleaning robots, these are rombas equipped with the neotank walking technology allowing them to climb everywhere and with much more agility than the hovering hoovers do. And these won't explode in the toilets! Mostly! Promise!
Zapdos: A few of these, made with jello.
Canas: Books to help you with your...AHEM problem.
Max: She made you more clothing this year from last year's non ripping material! Plus she also got you SHIRTS IN A CAN!
Jake: A watch which she put lasers on. After getting the photograph, however, she went in with Hachi's permission and got two of the final reports their mother carried out. They are boring detailless things but. It is still from their mother, right? (She already had the papers but since she wasn't supposed to get them...she was happy when Hachi said yes)
Kumatora: A fucking flamethrower. This fucking statue which she grabbed used so it's got a few cracks on it woops, but it was much, much cheaper than new.
Flurrie: You get an entire collection of broadway DVDs. Sadly, bootleg. However, Kirby and Lash have put aside some money and...they got 4 tickets to see a for-real musical opera.
Kirby: A mountain of cookies! Totally not taken from buying boxes and putting them together, no that would be silly. Cotton Candy. A photograph of him, her, Flurrie and Robotnik together.
Robotnik: More plans! Now your mustache can look its best. A picture of her, Kirby, you and Flurrie. But shh that one is a secret. A book of Evil Overlord Tips which includes such classics as these few pages.
Jeff: What to get to a guy who already has a bazillion things? Maybe a book. Some tea. Ice cubes. And a spinning bowtie.
Lucas: Dollar store strikes again.
Duster: Cheese. Old. And smelly. She found it in Nancy's fridges.
Rachel: A homemade necklaces. Yes it...shoots a laser. Sorry.
Orbot: Car polish.
Metal: Car polish for his metal exterior. There isn't much she can get him anyway :|
Zelda: Oka so you're Maxwell's roommate person. I guess you can get some tea too.
Meta Knight: And you three.
Green: And you four. Also a woopie cushion! Use it as you like. Lip candy. Because of what you tried to do to her haha. Ps, she still uis updating your website and your fans are still crazy.
Poo: Wait you are back so um...have these packets of food she found in the dollar store they
Tony: Car wax. She also stole one of your hats and installed a bowl on it. The bowl can be removed from the hat to wash it and in case of an emergency. It also protects against head shocks and fires!
Bowser: Modified mechanical koopas that shoot out lasers from their eyes. Very badly done Mario cookies she got Nancy to bake with a note to "enjoy joyfully munching your Nemesis's head" (Nancy was not told who the cookies were for).
Kamek: She got you the most BADASS ROBES ever. Look at the entire outfit, doesn't it command fear and respect? HELL YEAH IT DOES.
Uxie: There. Enjoy. Also these. Tsun tsun.
Vinnie: This Venusaur statue because it's so adorable and it makes noise. (No that is not a frog okay)
Mac: These very FLAMING BOXING GLOVES aww yeah. She also installed another gadget on your bike. Yes.
Shinon: Yay dollar store stuff.
Slippy: First of all, a note thanking him for his help in doing the classes, some bombs from the classes, some wax for his tank, and she also found a toolchest being unused in the leftover stuff in the junkyard, polished it and added some headlights and lasers.
Daisy: Sports equipment, brass addons for your shoes and a gift certificate for the birdcage.
Falkner (for helping her raise Skaromory): A book of EXTREME birds. Softcover edition, it was 75% cheaper.
Otacon: A dollar store
Wave: A bunch of material she got from all of her jobs, there's some spare parts and spare parts and also spare parts. And this really nice measuring cup for any explosive liquids you might be measuring.
Ness: This phone.
Andy: Digimon cards (Her doubles). A nice wrench (which she didn't steal...from him anyway). A jar of peanut butter. A map with all the continents listed. YEAH ANDY.
Paula: Bows for her hair. Made from bows she found in the dollar store and gluing them to pins.
Knuckles: A basket of fruit (it's a tradition). But this time you get...this little gadget. Also metal addons for his shoes.
Nabooru: A flower headband that has a laser on it.
Kyle: A congrats on getting hitched card.
ROB: Metal polish. A vhs copy of this movie.
Sable: A needle kit.
Peach: A cake mold.
Falcon: Letters for Ionia. IF YOU WERE TO SNOOP IN THEM you would find actually words of encouragement and what seems to be the beginnings of a nerd idea exchange and Lash seems. Really excited for her and uncharacteristicly nice and polite. As thanks, she got you some drinks. And remember that gun she made you two years ago? She made the other one. BUT ONLY BECAUSE SHE NEEDS YOU FOR IONIA'S CONTACT INFO OKAY.
Brock: These delightful cubes! She thinks it is hilarious.
Surge: A lightning bold keychain! It has a glow in the dark feather, thunder sound, and a tiny volt usage (hold it on the other side not to get volted yourself) to play a trick on someone else. (LIKE GOOSE)
Bulba: One dolar store trip later, she has a metal flower pot which she carved a very crude Ivysaur on it (it looks like she started a bulbasaur, realized her mistake halfway and then tried to fix it)
Char: A water squirting gun. Guess who it's made to be used on.
Giovanni: A few pocket rockets.
Leon: A small taser gun which she made herself.
Ulki: A claw sharpener.
Rhys: Pills.
Snake: Stacks of boxes she found at the dump. A headband Sami wanted to pass along.
Volgin: She has almost finished your vehicle but it was sidetracked when she left. Pray that she doesn't find out what really happened or your intentions in killing Pokemon or else she'll take it back. Meanwhile you get the prototype model, she doesn't need it anymore. Consider it a proof-of-concept.
Nyx: Clap off and off lights. (Which she hacked herself.) This movie which she found in vhs form for 1$ and marked on it "it is terrible, please watch it with Char"
Naval: These earrings which she made from dollar store jewelery and shaped to almost look like a carnivorous plant.
Shyguy General: She modified one of your hats to shoot a laser. Also some tank polish!
Blacky: The new 2011 Adder underwear collection. Yeah she got it for free, but gotta share the wealth right? Besides, they'll probably fit her better than her.
Ghor: You get..some sort of laser thing. Lash made it it. Despite being an ass you are still a robot and robots are awesome.
DEATHBOT: She has been using the laser you gave her so much, you actually get good presents this year. But you still get a chocolate egg that contains other tiny eggs. Otherwise, you get bike polish aaaand...she modified a red helmet she found and made this one for you to use while riding and feel like being safe. It probably shoots lasers on the side. Plz enjoy.
Archie: Who the hell are you, you get...a hot cacao sampler.
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WELL, he has certainly never had something like this before. How... weird, but still kind of cool. In a way. Sort of. He kind of likes it.
My, who is that very handsome man replicated in this little stick figure, he wonders~?
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But he and Surge are electro-erotic already so it-... Nothing.]no subject
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Also I ate the chocolate.]
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But hey if Lash knew you had made her goggles she would have done something else. Like laser nipples or lasers for her car or laser something else. You know, with lasers.]
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n'tI do with laser nipples.]no subject
In the end the letters just make him sad so he tries the drink and it tastes like liquid skittles so he eats Samus' chocolate instead.]
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[Spoilers: We're planning on blowing up a moon.]no subject
I KNEW IT]no subject
[Actually I'm gonna use a laser to write Hawke's name on ours, but someone is gonna stop me so it will be written Ha on it.]no subject
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Chris, it's very disturbing that you know this.
Yes, I'm well aware. I only know because when you type 'biceps' into the google that one guy with the 38 inch arms comes up (http://www.synergy-athletics.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/greg-valentino.jpg) and then you very quickly find out that the guy got that way by injecting himself with synthetic oil until, very literally, his arms burst. It's sort of horrifying.
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...But on the other hand, that would be something fun to do in front of someone who's scared of bugs.]
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QUIT STEALING MY BIKE.Those have got to be one of the coolest pairs of boxing gloves he's ever seen.He also has the most tripped out bike.]
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As appreciation, Lash would notice a cake in front of her dorm made with the mold. ♥]
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